My wheel-mortal
by xXxSLAYER4LYFEXxX4GRILSALLOWE
Summary: Eren and Armin find a beat up honda civic and attempt to fight the titans with it. Unfortunately the titans are 420 steps ahead with kia souls and show them the power of truly homosexual automobiles.
1. Chapter 1

It was another great day to be worshipping the Nazis in the life of Harsh "da banner of Raoh" Patel. He had just recovered from the shock of not being the hero of the the last tale that has come from the glorious writer who ruled team SRW's creative scene. Anyway, Harsh got up like he did on any other day and began his morning rituals. He brushed his teeth with liquid weed, said his morning prayers to his statue of Slayer while he mimmicked doing DEAD ON TIME resulting in another crack in his wall and the bones of his hands, and he shined his tires on his yosuke brand bycylcle he had imported for 420,00 yenz. He shook off the feeling of shame as he passed his Raoh body pillow and started for his TV which was kept up by car jacks to watch the morning news.

He sat down with a sigh as he fell into his shitty couch and flicked on the news. He could barely handle what he saw on that old ass screen. "TAKANE SHIJOU SCANDEL ERUPTS! MORE NEWS LATER," said the anchorman with a shitty tie as Harsh dropped hakumen shaped toast onto the floor. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE LORD IS THIS BULLSHITTERY. I CAN'T BELIEVE MUH WAIFU BUT NOT WAIFU COULD BE INVOLVED IN A SCANDEL. LOOKS LIKE I NEED TO SKIP OUT ON SOME DARK SOULS II FOR THIS SHIT!" He then sat there for 2 hours waiting for the man to come back as the story had been told by the anchorwoman but harsh had covered his ears and yelled, "LALALALA WHEELY CAN'T HEAR JEW!" as she spoke.

"Today the creator of the ever popular and expanding Idolm ster series had announced that he would be removing the character of Takane Shijou from all future appearances citing violent letters as the reason. One of the letters read, 'you big fucking nigger you had better never explain takane or i will need to cut you. oh and give her a spin off game or i will come to your shit ass pad and rape your intestines with a sonic screwdriver, bitch. cunt. p.s. you will forever be the coolest man alive(fuck ryry) for making takane 3.' The letters came from a place only named 'da souf' and whoever has commited this henious act should speak to authories, Charles Georgeson CNN news fucking out"

All the brown man could feel was rage. Each of his carefully worded letters had be labeled as a violent threat. He only saw those as agressive persuasion in order to get the best gril more screen time. With anger in his heart he grabbed the sonic screwdriver he had prepared in this instance and rushed out of his door. He then hopped on his suped up puce go kart and started off. He threw on his GO in SOUL CD into his sound system that weighed almost as much as the go kart and began on his way to the airport. He recieved eight tickets for disturbing the peace and public indecency on the way. "JUST YOU WAIT YOU SHIT I'LL SHOW YOU WHO THE FASTEST IS."


	2. Chapter 2

The wheeler got a plain after a 3 day security check. This was due to harsh's large bag labeled "terrorist bombs" that he had used to skip all the lines with very minimal wisdom. His ethnicity cleared he bored the flight to japan. He spend the entire flight sharpening his screwdriver with a tire iron (that took a VERY VERY long time). All the people around him were nervous as fuck as the suspected terrorist sat next to them with sparks flying.

After they touched down he sprinted off the plane and into the nearest taxi. "YOU GO TO THE IDOLMASTER MAN HOUSE BITCH" our "hero" yelled at his cab driver who understood fucking nothing that harsh had being saying. After near an hour of adapting this one sentence into understandable Engrish harsh engraged left the cab and went to the only place that he thought he would find this man who had offended him so much he had to fly to the country of Japan. The sugoi ass headquarters of terrible animation, JC Staff.

Harsh had no clue who in the fuck had actually animated the Idolm ster and just thought of the first that had come to his mind. He was lucky in the fact that when he arrived he over heard people talking about the actually studio that had done it and he cried as he ran there because he no longer had his go cart. He burst into the building as the creator was calling people shits for fucking up the idolmaster movie horrifically as wheely charged with screwdriver in hand.

He was confident in his weapon as it had been folded 10,000 times like a japanese katanah of his dreams. Every single fiber of his being was ready to strike down another man that had rejected his advances but suddenly fucking Miura dropped from the ceiling with a fucking greatsword. "SHIT NIGGAH UR DA FAG THAT NEVER WRITES BERSERK AREN'T YOU," wheeler spouted in anger oil beginning to fall from his eyes. "Yes I am" responded Muira in perfect english because the author of this piece of shit can't think of a funny engrish line for here. He then heaved his replica Gut's sword (folded 10,001 times) which cleaved wheelys arm from his body. Harsh suddenly shot up in bed screaming with meth surrounding him. "oh it was all a dream," said harsh as he looked around noticing a note. "Fuck you, you baka gaijin. Don't you mess with my waifu, chihaya." and Harsh just cried. Da end.


End file.
